Happy Birthday, Pilar

Happy Birthday, Pilar. Wherever you are, I pray you are safe.

Maybe you will use a computer in a library, search for your name and find this post. We talked about that. It's possible. So, I'm sending this video birthday blog.

Your children are beautiful. On this blog, I call them Sun and Raine, but you know who they are. They are now both two (Irish Twins), and driving me into the library to find books about what to do with two-year-olds. They yell at each other. They do not want to share--toys, books, me or their Dada. They whine when they don’t get their way. Yet--they are the sweetest babies on Earth!

You can have a conversation with Sun and learn things from him. You would appreciate that Pilar because you were verbal early yourself. He uses metaphors and similes. He reasons things out and solves problems. He has a great singing voice (Watch the clip below). Raine can repeat just about anything you say and can say what she wants even if it's often in a language we don't understand. Her Uncle J. told her, "You got to start speaking English!" Happily, she is. She’s talking about as well as a typical two-year-old. Considering her preemie beginnings, that’s saying something.

Raine knows so much more than she lets on. Behind those big Brown eyes, Pilar, she’s always watching. I think this is a preemie characteristic. She was recently evaluated for a NIH preemie follow-up study. She sat there and put pegs in the right place, and matched shapes, and pointed out all these objects in a book and said words that were understood! She looked people in the eye and responded to her name and instructions and basically aced all the tests. At the end of the examination, the nurse packed up her things like, "No problems here!" You can read about this ongoing nationwide study here. http://www.nichd.nih.gov/about/org/cdbpm/pp/prog_epbo/


Not only do they communicate well, but Sun and Raine are also polite and friendly. Sun's teacher told me he always says "please" and "thank you." She says this is rare among kids these days. Wow. And Raine will approach just about anyone and say, "How!" which in Rainespeak is “Hello!” She is fearless. This can be dangerous, we know. We’ll have to help her develop her judgment. For now, she's just one of those babies you can Never Take Your Eyes Off Of—or else she’s gone and into something.

Did I say they were beautiful? Just look at them. Those are your children. They need you in their lives. We all do. We want you to get help.

I say that, and yet I know it's like asking a burning man to put out the fire himself. I also know that with the current state of mental health care policy and practice, you either go for help yourself or get taken there against your will, usually after some crisis. I still remember the first time we experienced the 72-Hour Hold process and I learned just how difficult it is to help people with mental disorders. But we keep trying. Your father and I are looking for a long-term residential facility where you can get the sustained care you need. Mostly, we are looking for you.

So, if you do read this, please go get help. You can go to the emergency room. I know you know where it is. They will contact us. If someone else reads this, especially in the Atlanta area, and sees Pilar, show this to her. If anyone knows and can recommend a good residential treatment facility for young women with mental disorders—please, contact us through this blog.

Help is available, Pilar. You don’t have to go through this alone.