Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Of Babies and Babysitters

Here is a dilemma I never thought I'd face: leaving my two grandchildren with a babysitter I just met today so that I can attend the trial of my son's killers tomorrow.

After two months of searching and with help from extended family and friends, especially Jacque and Niki, I have hired a woman to babysit the children while we're in Atlanta: an expectant stay-at-home soon-to-be mom again who will care for Sun and Raine while my husband and I sit in a courtroom for eight or more hours. She comes highly recommended. She seems lovely, warm and generous and she says she loves children. Her home is a good environment for children--free of knick knacks and what nots children should not touch, with a playground nearby and trails for walking.

I'm grateful she's willing to take on our two- and three-year-olds for eight or nine hours, sight unseen. This happened truly at the 11th hour. Until about 7:00 this evening, we were still without a babysitter or a solution. Would we take the children with us to court? Is that even allowed? It certainly isn't ideal. Would both of us miss part of the trial as we take care of them in tandem? That's the easiest and best solution, perhaps, but totally unsatisfactory. Now, we have a solution, and now, I'm having all kinds of doubt.

No matter how loving and caring she is, Sun and Raine are going to have a fit when we leave them with her. They will think we are abandoning them and be scarred for life. (Worst case scenario) Or they will cry for a while and then get distracted and adapt and have fun and rush into our arms when we picked them up. (I can only hope)

I'm not sure I can do this, after all. I've bought food for their lunch and snacks and treats and will pack their favorite books and toys. I'll EXPLAIN to them that Mommy and Daddy will come back to get them--. But there will be a scene. It's midnight now and I still don't know if I can go through it.

Thus, the dilemma: Do I skip the trial and stay with the children, or do I trust that this last-minute, lovely babysitter is truly a godsend and go represent my love for my son in court?

I'll find out tomorrow.

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